I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
