I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
