Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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