And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
