dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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