Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize