never play flip cup with pint glasses
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize