So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
