Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
