I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
