You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
