So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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