"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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