My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
