I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
