Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
