I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
