It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
