Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
