whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
