im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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