he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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