He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
COCAINE IS GR8
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
