i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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