How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
