brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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