Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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