This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
