I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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