Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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