Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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