you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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