You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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