no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
