Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
