Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
