He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
