There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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