When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
