1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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