It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Boobs speak an international language.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
