do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
