You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
