Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize