We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cockslap morals
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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