My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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