So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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