no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
