so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
