would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
