I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Two words: blizzard sex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This toilet bowl is my home.
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