so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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