You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
