In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
