Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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