oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My pussy is not your playground.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
