i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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