Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
