you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
