next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
