Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
