She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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