if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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